Ok, so I am throwing myself a bit of a pity party and need to vent. Now I must say that this is more of a venting than a complaining post. So PLEASE don't flood with me with comments about how someone has it worse than I do. I know that, but I am hoping that in posting it I can get it off my chest and maybe, just maybe, others feel the same as I do.
I am happy for my friends, I truly am. However, it seems that the vast majority are: in a relationship, newlyweds, engaged and having babies and I can't even get a date or have a (respectable) guy interested in me. I am feeling a bit left behind. I have always thought it was because I am a bit on the chunky side, but hey, big girls need lovin too ya know?? I discovered today that I am the only single person that works at Arby's (the store I work in). Single as in, no boyfriend or girlfriend. And I don't want to hear that someday it will happen. The people who say that are in relationships. I also do not believe that there is someone for everyone. There are times when being completely single is ok with me and there are times when it is not. This is one of those times. It has been very lonely here in Lynchburg. I have met some great people at Arby's and school but it is NOT the same as having my friends up north. My friends are my family, they love me no matter what and know all about me. As I have gotten older it has become harder for me to open up to new people. I did get to see my all my family at Christmas and had a hard time leaving. I miss them lots!!! Ok I was going to keep going, but I think I will stop.
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Friday, December 12, 2008
Single White Female Seeks THE Perfect Man(and finds Him)
I am sure that I am not the only person on this planet to ask the question: "why am I single?" Only to have it go unanswered. We can beat ourselves up by thoughts like i am not pretty/good-looking enough, not skinny enough or not muscular enough, I don't make enough money, don't live in a good enough house, my job is not good enough, I'm just not good enough....
That was a lot of the word 'enough'. How about one more: that's enough of that kind of thinking!!!!! Stop beating yourself up! Yeah, I need to eat my own words every now and then. Am I good enough for you? Are you good enough for me?
Let's look at what it means: good enough means to be adequately good for the circumstances. Okay, what does it mean to be adequate? there are a couple of definitions: 1. as much or as good as necessary for some requirement or purpose; fully sufficient, suitable, or fit 2. barely sufficient or suitable. then it goes on to use an example "being adequate is not good enough." hold up, wait a minute, i am confused?!?! Why am I trying to be good enough again, if being adequate is not good enough for being good enough? Oh, right, because I am looking for a man and in order to get that man I am twisting myself into being something I am not: good enough. Why am I not good enough? Why are none of us good enough for each other? Because we are human. Nothing we do is ever going to be enough for one another. We set expectations of each other and when those expectations fall short we get frustrated. When we do and do and do and get nothing in return we lose hope and giving becomes futile. When someone doesn't feel the same way about us that we feel for them we start trying to become the person we think they want. We lose ourselves in the madness. It's nuts what we do to ourselves!! Oh and let me not forget how we try to compare ourselves to others....i may save that for another day =)
Guess what? It doesn't have to be that way. I have found THE Perfect Man. Finally!!!! You know that song, right? "Finally" by CeCe Peniston(forget the wedding march, if I get married that song will play as I walk down the aisle lol), It just went through my head. Ok so who is it, you wonder. Jen, who is THE Perfect Man and does he have a brother(or sister, whichever the case may be) for me? I am not sure if I want to tell you because I am afraid you will steal him from me! I am only joking, of course. It's Jesus! Yes, I am dating Jesus and you can too! Why is Jesus THE Perfect Man?
1. He loved me(and you too) sooooooo much that He didn't want to live without me so He was tortured and scorned and died for me.
2. Although I am not perfect, He loves me anyway and I don't question that love. I can fail Him over and over again, yet He will still love me. I am the one that deserved hell, and He still loves me.
3. I can count on Him. When I need Him, He is there. 24/7/365
4. There is a song by Whitney Houston "All The Man That I Need" in that song are the lyrics: 'he fills me up, he gives me love, more love than I've ever seen..." Jesus fills all my needs that no one else can.
5. No matter how I look or feel He won't judge me based on how I look. Right now, I look a mess, seriously. But I know beyond a reasonable doubt that now matter how bad I looked or how mad, hurt, scared, sad, happy or excited I am, he would reach out His arms and comfort me. Bottom line, I can 100% be myself with Him.
6. did I mention it's because He loves me? That He has this perfect love for me? Perfect: entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.
7. This is who He is: my Best Friend. My Rock, My Comforter, My Provider, My Counselor, My Savior...hopefully you get the point.
Don't get me wrong, this relationship requires work on my end. It's not like you meet Him and 5 minutes later it's all easy gong. It's not easy. But if you remember that any relationship that you want to last is a marathon and not sprint, it's makes it easier. Just think of it this way, why wouldn't you want to be with someone who loves you that much? Jesus said in Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Notice how it says ALL things. God knows what is best for you and you would be wise to let Him show you! Even showing you who you spend the rest of your life with.
Let me say one more thing. I know there is no perfect guy out there. I am not going to pretend that there is. But, I don't want to settle either. I want someone who compliments me not completes me, Jesus completes me. I want someone I can live with not someone I can't live without, I can't live without Jesus. I want someone who I can serve God together with and grow stronger with in God. I am never going to be good enough and the man I spend the rest of my life with(if God allows)will never be good enough. We aren't going to feel like we deserve each other. But that is the beauty of grace :) We both get something that we don't deserve, a precious gift: each other. My beloved will be mine and I will be my beloved's.
That was a lot of the word 'enough'. How about one more: that's enough of that kind of thinking!!!!! Stop beating yourself up! Yeah, I need to eat my own words every now and then. Am I good enough for you? Are you good enough for me?
Let's look at what it means: good enough means to be adequately good for the circumstances. Okay, what does it mean to be adequate? there are a couple of definitions: 1. as much or as good as necessary for some requirement or purpose; fully sufficient, suitable, or fit 2. barely sufficient or suitable. then it goes on to use an example "being adequate is not good enough." hold up, wait a minute, i am confused?!?! Why am I trying to be good enough again, if being adequate is not good enough for being good enough? Oh, right, because I am looking for a man and in order to get that man I am twisting myself into being something I am not: good enough. Why am I not good enough? Why are none of us good enough for each other? Because we are human. Nothing we do is ever going to be enough for one another. We set expectations of each other and when those expectations fall short we get frustrated. When we do and do and do and get nothing in return we lose hope and giving becomes futile. When someone doesn't feel the same way about us that we feel for them we start trying to become the person we think they want. We lose ourselves in the madness. It's nuts what we do to ourselves!! Oh and let me not forget how we try to compare ourselves to others....i may save that for another day =)
Guess what? It doesn't have to be that way. I have found THE Perfect Man. Finally!!!! You know that song, right? "Finally" by CeCe Peniston(forget the wedding march, if I get married that song will play as I walk down the aisle lol), It just went through my head. Ok so who is it, you wonder. Jen, who is THE Perfect Man and does he have a brother(or sister, whichever the case may be) for me? I am not sure if I want to tell you because I am afraid you will steal him from me! I am only joking, of course. It's Jesus! Yes, I am dating Jesus and you can too! Why is Jesus THE Perfect Man?
1. He loved me(and you too) sooooooo much that He didn't want to live without me so He was tortured and scorned and died for me.
2. Although I am not perfect, He loves me anyway and I don't question that love. I can fail Him over and over again, yet He will still love me. I am the one that deserved hell, and He still loves me.
3. I can count on Him. When I need Him, He is there. 24/7/365
4. There is a song by Whitney Houston "All The Man That I Need" in that song are the lyrics: 'he fills me up, he gives me love, more love than I've ever seen..." Jesus fills all my needs that no one else can.
5. No matter how I look or feel He won't judge me based on how I look. Right now, I look a mess, seriously. But I know beyond a reasonable doubt that now matter how bad I looked or how mad, hurt, scared, sad, happy or excited I am, he would reach out His arms and comfort me. Bottom line, I can 100% be myself with Him.
6. did I mention it's because He loves me? That He has this perfect love for me? Perfect: entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.
7. This is who He is: my Best Friend. My Rock, My Comforter, My Provider, My Counselor, My Savior...hopefully you get the point.
Don't get me wrong, this relationship requires work on my end. It's not like you meet Him and 5 minutes later it's all easy gong. It's not easy. But if you remember that any relationship that you want to last is a marathon and not sprint, it's makes it easier. Just think of it this way, why wouldn't you want to be with someone who loves you that much? Jesus said in Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Notice how it says ALL things. God knows what is best for you and you would be wise to let Him show you! Even showing you who you spend the rest of your life with.
Let me say one more thing. I know there is no perfect guy out there. I am not going to pretend that there is. But, I don't want to settle either. I want someone who compliments me not completes me, Jesus completes me. I want someone I can live with not someone I can't live without, I can't live without Jesus. I want someone who I can serve God together with and grow stronger with in God. I am never going to be good enough and the man I spend the rest of my life with(if God allows)will never be good enough. We aren't going to feel like we deserve each other. But that is the beauty of grace :) We both get something that we don't deserve, a precious gift: each other. My beloved will be mine and I will be my beloved's.
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