Never Gonna Be Alone

Ok so I know my previous post was all about me and my pity party. I had someone tell me that those are ok to have sometimes ;) I think the reason behind it all is the overwhelming loneliness I have felt lately. Even knowing God is there hasn't been enough (not a good thing I know), it's "my people" I miss the most. I was watching The Bachelor earlier and Jake said something like, " I know there are people who are engineered to be alone and I am not one of them." Same here. And I discovered that I am not the only one that is lonely. In less than a week I have had 3 friends tell me they feel lonely too. And I know there are others as well. Yesterday I had my 31st birthday. I had decided last year that my 30th birthday party would be my last. I mean it is hard to top the red carpet, limo and a wonderful fun-filled night with good friends in DC...but I heard the phrase, "be careful what you wish for because you just might get it" haunting me. I had no cake and no birthday cards. That was harder to take than I realized. I am ok with it now. Those things I don't need really...the cake would get eaten and stick itself to my thighs and the cards would get tossed to the side or thrown away. I got something even better--I realized that I really am not alone. I had so many friends on Facebook wish me Happy Birthday and got a few phone calls that I couldn't feel lonely even if I tried! I could barely keep up with the thank yous there were so many. I also know that God is with me. Easier said than done, I have struggled and will continue to struggle. I am not 100% better but more than I was yesterday. And when I feel lonely I know I can run to Him and His arms will be wide open ready to take me in and tell me I am not alone. So to all of my friends I love you and thank you. And I thank God that He has brought such wonderful people in my life. So, I know Nickelback doesn't appeal to everyone but they come out with a few songs that we can relate to. So I dedicate the following song to anyone who is lonely. It is a good reminder that we are not alone and if you are feeling lonely, I won't let you fall--call me or send me a message on Facebook ;) Or call some friends who will encourage you and help you. I will say this: it is ok to feel alone. But don't let it go on for too long! Know that there are people who love you!!!!

I Need To Vent.....

Ok, so I am throwing myself a bit of a pity party and need to vent. Now I must say that this is more of a venting than a complaining post. So PLEASE don't flood with me with comments about how someone has it worse than I do. I know that, but I am hoping that in posting it I can get it off my chest and maybe, just maybe, others feel the same as I do.


I am happy for my friends, I truly am. However, it seems that the vast majority are: in a relationship, newlyweds, engaged and having babies and I can't even get a date or have a (respectable) guy interested in me. I am feeling a bit left behind. I have always thought it was because I am a bit on the chunky side, but hey, big girls need lovin too ya know?? I discovered today that I am the only single person that works at Arby's (the store I work in). Single as in, no boyfriend or girlfriend. And I don't want to hear that someday it will happen. The people who say that are in relationships. I also do not believe that there is someone for everyone. There are times when being completely single is ok with me and there are times when it is not. This is one of those times. It has been very lonely here in Lynchburg. I have met some great people at Arby's and school but it is NOT the same as having my friends up north. My friends are my family, they love me no matter what and know all about me. As I have gotten older it has become harder for me to open up to new people. I did get to see my all my family at Christmas and had a hard time leaving. I miss them lots!!! Ok I was going to keep going, but I think I will stop.