Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Never Gonna Be Alone

Ok so I know my previous post was all about me and my pity party. I had someone tell me that those are ok to have sometimes ;) I think the reason behind it all is the overwhelming loneliness I have felt lately. Even knowing God is there hasn't been enough (not a good thing I know), it's "my people" I miss the most. I was watching The Bachelor earlier and Jake said something like, " I know there are people who are engineered to be alone and I am not one of them." Same here. And I discovered that I am not the only one that is lonely. In less than a week I have had 3 friends tell me they feel lonely too. And I know there are others as well. Yesterday I had my 31st birthday. I had decided last year that my 30th birthday party would be my last. I mean it is hard to top the red carpet, limo and a wonderful fun-filled night with good friends in DC...but I heard the phrase, "be careful what you wish for because you just might get it" haunting me. I had no cake and no birthday cards. That was harder to take than I realized. I am ok with it now. Those things I don't need really...the cake would get eaten and stick itself to my thighs and the cards would get tossed to the side or thrown away. I got something even better--I realized that I really am not alone. I had so many friends on Facebook wish me Happy Birthday and got a few phone calls that I couldn't feel lonely even if I tried! I could barely keep up with the thank yous there were so many. I also know that God is with me. Easier said than done, I have struggled and will continue to struggle. I am not 100% better but more than I was yesterday. And when I feel lonely I know I can run to Him and His arms will be wide open ready to take me in and tell me I am not alone. So to all of my friends I love you and thank you. And I thank God that He has brought such wonderful people in my life. So, I know Nickelback doesn't appeal to everyone but they come out with a few songs that we can relate to. So I dedicate the following song to anyone who is lonely. It is a good reminder that we are not alone and if you are feeling lonely, I won't let you fall--call me or send me a message on Facebook ;) Or call some friends who will encourage you and help you. I will say this: it is ok to feel alone. But don't let it go on for too long! Know that there are people who love you!!!!