Hope Floats

It's 12:35am on January 1, 2009 i cannot believe how time flies by!!

If you have read my blog before, then you have noticed that I will post a daily devo that I get in my email from Proverbs 31 Woman. The one I got today about hope really hit home with me. I was hoping to get something for Christmas. Actually, there is something I have been hoping for, for awhile now. I was hoping for something on New Year's Eve. There is something I am hoping for on my birthday. In case you're wondering: I am hoping for something specific. I keep trying to find glimmers of hope; but the more time goes by I have discovered that those glimmers of hope is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Like the author talks about in the devo(we have different situations but i like the illustration), I am 99% sure I won't get what I am hoping for, but I hold on to the 1% that is left. Like she says "My heart simply refused to give up that final thread of hope."

What is it that you are hoping for? Read the following devo and decide if the hope is from God, or from you....

The Night I Lost All Hope
31 Dec 2008
Elaine Bonds

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

I remember it so well – the night I lost all hope. I had been hoping that my prodigal son was not lying to me. While I was 99% sure he was, I still clung to the 1% chance he was telling the truth. My heart simply refused to give up that final thread of hope.
As a condition of living in our home again, we asked that our 21-year old son attend a weekly support group meeting. We wanted him back home; his other living choice was not a good one. But we needed to establish boundaries , offering a safe place to live without tolerating or enabling his destructive behavior. We wanted to start rebuilding the trust we had lost. One building block was his Friday night support group meeting. Though our son said he was attending, in my heart I felt something was wrong.
One night I just had to know if he was living up to his commitment. I drove to the place where his meeting was held and my fears were confirmed: he was nowhere to be found. I went right home and waited. When he came home I asked about his meeting. “The meeting was fine. I’m tired and going to bed.” I had caught him in a lie!
Hope left me and discouragement came quickly to replace it. I couldn’t even confront him – at least not yet. I needed time to wrestle with the loss of the 1% of hope. It was just a tiny bit of hope. No big loss, right? … Wrong! That last 1% of hope is what I held onto the tightest. I was so angry and crushed. But then, God spoke. He chose a friend to speak His Words to me the very next day. She had no clue what was happening with our son. She just prayed what God prompted her -- for me to have HOPE! She emailed me her prayer:
“Father, You are the God of all hope. Your Word tells us that those who hope in You will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, and they will walk and not be faint. I pray this for Elaine this morning … that she will place her HOPE in You and You alone …”
Reading her prayer, it suddenly became clear to me. My hope had been in my son and in that weekly meeting. The hope I had lost – that 1% I’d been clinging to – was human hope. That kind of hope is in limited quantity, and when it runs out, you are left drained, discouraged, disappointed and …hopeless! Oh, it may masquerade as “hope,” but it is completely different from the hope that God provides. God’s hope renews and refreshes. It empowers, uplifts, and strengthens. God’s hope does not disappoint! There is an unlimited supply of God’s hope.
God knew I had been clinging to human hope, and He knew that last 1% of weak, feeble hope would run out. He wanted me to cling to Him, the God of true, lasting, unlimited hope. So, as I wiped my tears, I waited as the winds of God’s hope blew my way. My circumstances were still the same, but my heart was now filled with the hope that only God can provide.
Dear Lord, Thank You for Your wonderful, everlasting hope. Please help me always put my hope in You and You alone. Thank You that with You all things are possible. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Single White Female Seeks THE Perfect Man(and finds Him)

I am sure that I am not the only person on this planet to ask the question: "why am I single?" Only to have it go unanswered. We can beat ourselves up by thoughts like i am not pretty/good-looking enough, not skinny enough or not muscular enough, I don't make enough money, don't live in a good enough house, my job is not good enough, I'm just not good enough....

That was a lot of the word 'enough'. How about one more: that's enough of that kind of thinking!!!!! Stop beating yourself up! Yeah, I need to eat my own words every now and then. Am I good enough for you? Are you good enough for me?

Let's look at what it means: good enough means to be adequately good for the circumstances. Okay, what does it mean to be adequate? there are a couple of definitions: 1. as much or as good as necessary for some requirement or purpose; fully sufficient, suitable, or fit 2. barely sufficient or suitable. then it goes on to use an example "being adequate is not good enough." hold up, wait a minute, i am confused?!?! Why am I trying to be good enough again, if being adequate is not good enough for being good enough? Oh, right, because I am looking for a man and in order to get that man I am twisting myself into being something I am not: good enough. Why am I not good enough? Why are none of us good enough for each other? Because we are human. Nothing we do is ever going to be enough for one another. We set expectations of each other and when those expectations fall short we get frustrated. When we do and do and do and get nothing in return we lose hope and giving becomes futile. When someone doesn't feel the same way about us that we feel for them we start trying to become the person we think they want. We lose ourselves in the madness. It's nuts what we do to ourselves!! Oh and let me not forget how we try to compare ourselves to others....i may save that for another day =)

Guess what? It doesn't have to be that way. I have found THE Perfect Man. Finally!!!! You know that song, right? "Finally" by CeCe Peniston(forget the wedding march, if I get married that song will play as I walk down the aisle lol), It just went through my head. Ok so who is it, you wonder. Jen, who is THE Perfect Man and does he have a brother(or sister, whichever the case may be) for me? I am not sure if I want to tell you because I am afraid you will steal him from me! I am only joking, of course. It's Jesus! Yes, I am dating Jesus and you can too! Why is Jesus THE Perfect Man?

1. He loved me(and you too) sooooooo much that He didn't want to live without me so He was tortured and scorned and died for me.

2. Although I am not perfect, He loves me anyway and I don't question that love. I can fail Him over and over again, yet He will still love me. I am the one that deserved hell, and He still loves me.

3. I can count on Him. When I need Him, He is there. 24/7/365

4. There is a song by Whitney Houston "All The Man That I Need" in that song are the lyrics: 'he fills me up, he gives me love, more love than I've ever seen..." Jesus fills all my needs that no one else can.

5. No matter how I look or feel He won't judge me based on how I look. Right now, I look a mess, seriously. But I know beyond a reasonable doubt that now matter how bad I looked or how mad, hurt, scared, sad, happy or excited I am, he would reach out His arms and comfort me. Bottom line, I can 100% be myself with Him.

6. did I mention it's because He loves me? That He has this perfect love for me? Perfect: entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.

7. This is who He is: my Best Friend. My Rock, My Comforter, My Provider, My Counselor, My Savior...hopefully you get the point.


Don't get me wrong, this relationship requires work on my end. It's not like you meet Him and 5 minutes later it's all easy gong. It's not easy. But if you remember that any relationship that you want to last is a marathon and not sprint, it's makes it easier. Just think of it this way, why wouldn't you want to be with someone who loves you that much? Jesus said in Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Notice how it says ALL things. God knows what is best for you and you would be wise to let Him show you! Even showing you who you spend the rest of your life with.

Let me say one more thing. I know there is no perfect guy out there. I am not going to pretend that there is. But, I don't want to settle either. I want someone who compliments me not completes me, Jesus completes me. I want someone I can live with not someone I can't live without, I can't live without Jesus. I want someone who I can serve God together with and grow stronger with in God. I am never going to be good enough and the man I spend the rest of my life with(if God allows)will never be good enough. We aren't going to feel like we deserve each other. But that is the beauty of grace :) We both get something that we don't deserve, a precious gift: each other. My beloved will be mine and I will be my beloved's.